ok... so basically i have been instructed to edit my blog because what i said "wasnt true." well yes, i must admit i was mad when i wrote that. so... here's what reaaally took place. i guess i can say all this now since heath and josh had their heart to heart. ok... well... for a while now, i've had feelings for heath. and he's had feelings back. well, since i couldnt tell anyone here because of joshua, i told my chicky back at home -- channing. i would send her entire convos between me and heath just so she could see how perfect he is. she knew how crazy i was about him. the thing with me and heath tho, was that both of us valued our friendship with joshua WAY to much to ever do anything together. like... all we did was talk. k so then... saturday i wanted my chicky to come see me because i hadnt seen her since our whole argument thing and i wanted her to meet my boys. but first, lets take a sec to remind everyone WHY me and channing were fighting. she liked justin and me and justin kinda started gettin back together with him. the whole ENTIRE time we were fightin, i tried to explain to her that it wasnt like i just stole a random guy that meant nothinto me away from her. justin was my past. my present. and my future. i done pissed on him to mark my territory a LONG time ago. ok so anyways, after josh found out about everything, heath told me that he had to quit talkin to me, because its wrong to sneak behind the back of one of your best friends. k so... i mean... basically i was heartbroken and cryin my eyes out 24-7. i talked to channing out that. and bein the cute little girl she is, she sent me a little thingy... its not on my pc anymore but i would LOVE to show u all what it said. it was like "i'll be here when ur sad... " blah blah blah and all that bs. welll... i so conveniently found out last night that the guy i am crushin on SOOO hard, cryin 39048209834 tears over, cryin to my channing about.... has been secretly talkin to channing like allll the time, and DROVE to fuckin monroe to see her yesterday. so yes... i am a little mad. lets name the reasons why...
1. i didnt find out from either of them
2. at least when i took justin from her i KNEW him before and we had a deep connection and it wasnt some random guy i just meant that really deep down there is nothin there
3, channing never mentioned anything to me...
4. heath was STILL talkin to me like he had feelings for me throughout this whole thing
5. heath cant mess with me because its wrong to mess with someone his best friend is crazy about... but its ok for channing to mess with him even tho i'm one of her best friends and is crazy over heath???
6. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii flippin introduced them!!!!!
7. channing is not carin at all how bad she hurt me... all shes thinkin about is hangin out with him...
anyways... i'm done namin shit. i'm angry. not even so much angry. i am sooo hurt. so hurt. i seriously think it would be best if i just limited my amount of friends to 2. meg and bre. dead up. i dont need to even associate with anyone else. i have people i hang out with... but as far as people i trust and can tlak to... bre and meg. actually, i dont even know dude. everytime ive confided in someone in the past, theyve backstabbed me or done somethin to f it all up. so i'm sure its only a matter of time before bre and meg do the same. ok what am i talkin about?? we got that bangin friendship and i trust them with everything. i think i would seriously die without them. basically i miss them a lot right now as a matter of fact because YET AGAIN i am ballin my eyes out. damn it... neither of u are soooo not worth it AT ALL. oh just to let u all know his side of the story... this is what heath has to say...
dhg150 2 (12:49:23 PM): for real, me and channing arent as big as its gtetin made out to be
he saaaaays he not tryin to get with her and they are just friends. i just want u to know his side of the argument before you judge him. also, channing says she does like him. and she knows she was sneakin around and bein a GREAT friend to me.
but ya know what? its all ok... because ive got my REAL best friends. breanne has been in here with me for like ever makin sure i'm happy and megan flippin bought me a jimmie johnson t-shirt last night which made my damn year!!! i told justin the only other thing in my life that would make me more happy is if me and him had blonde twins. so yea... i'm pretty happy.
hmmm now im listenin to eminem and thinkin about how much i hate life. and you. and yes, just fyi... i AM more upset at chan than heath.. because really, he aint shit to me. hes just another guy that made me cry. but channings one of my best. we've been in this spot before. at least i had a good reason. at least i LOVED justin and it wasnt just a fling. i cant wait until it doesnt work and he makes u cry. u know its only a matter of time.
as i leave i just wanna leave u with one thought... my ring tone.... hmmm... bEtChA cAnT dO iT LiKe Me... NO!
